I just realized that I have been neglecting this blog for quite some time. There’s so much that I haven’t been updating that I don’t know where to start .. that always ends up in the archives. Enough of the procrastinations.
***
Anne has finally left for Melbourne. I didn’t expect that it would affect me that much. I was so sad. It sent me on a waterfall frenzy. It felt as though my “boyfriend” left to further his study overseas and I could only see him a couple of weeks each year. I missed the person that has showered me with support, guidance, a shoulder to cry on, ultimate patience and understanding, and keeping my hopes and faiths alive through the darkest and lowest that I have been through. And helped me through it all .. being there for me emotionally and physically. Now that she’s gone, I felt empty as I have been so dependent on her back then. But I’m glad to know that she’ll always be there for me even though she’s thousands of miles apart … just a text, a MSN message or a phone call away. I miss you Anne .. you have been a true friend and I really appreciate that. And may we be the best of friends for the longest time ever.
Ok Anne .. you can start your waterfall now ;)
Emo suit !!
***
Remember the “Lion-mane” shoot ? It’s finally out in this month’s Female magazine. Nüyoü mag but I’ve yet to see it on newsstands.
Both Loreal shoots are out.
The new Maji brown collection …
… and the lion-mane 60’s big curls look.
Somehow I preferred the pic Bon took for me.
Do not underestimate one's artistic cam whoring skills. =)
***
I’m just wondering …
How do we know if our intuitions are right or are the psyco thoughts on the loose again?
We women are well known to be natural born psycos. Please, am sure everyone has been there before. It’s just a matter of time before one snaps out of it otherwise they really go loco.
For those who have been “there” before, how do we know if it’s the ugly side is taking a peek to the outside world again after it has been banished to its deepest gallows? Sometimes we blame too much on the precedence. We end up blaming ourselves and bringing it upon us. It’s just like judging an ex-con by whatever cover it has. But in actual fact, for all you know, it’s our intuition that is giving us a big wake up slap and a “Helloooo !~”
Being in a relationship is like taking a big roller coaster ride … not the lousy ones in those cheapo funfairs in your neighbourhood, but those ones in Disneyland .. in the States mind you. You love it … you hate it.
I wonder how can people actually admit that they love the “thrills” of the ups and downs. Oh you bloody well know you god damn hate the downs. When it comes to the people you love so deeply, that “down” impact is like sending your heart way down to your intestines and stuck there. Yea, very tormenting!
But at the end of the day, one must have the courage to pick themselves up and move on. Time may heal most of the wounds. We’ll feel better, but somehow still bitter inside. I figured the challenge here isn’t just to move on. Remember the term “forgive and forget” ? Time allows us to forgive, but no matter what .. it’s just too hard to forget. And we women have such an imaginative and creative minds that we would ponder upon stuff that we are supposed to forget. Opening the files that have been closed long ago and to investigate deeper into those doubts we have at the back of the mind.
OM“Bloody”G .. psyco thoughts on the loose!
Byno will go .. “Jamieeeeee ….. stop it !”
It seems that recently I've been surrounded by emotional fluctuations around me. And I understand very well that these people need more support, understanding and guidance through this phase. More than anything else, they all want a "solution" .. and answer to all their doubts. Where does it all start in the first place. Just when I was about to let my mind settle on this neverending discussion with no definite solution, last night's Tyra Show episode was about this.
Insecurities often leads to Paranoia.
Be it physical wise, or expectations from your partner.
There is a sudden gush of verbal diarrhea in my mind after the last fullstop. I feel it is rather inappropriate to publish my "mind diarrhea" coz it will do injustice to the male species, disrespecting people's private issues, subconsciouly inflict more damage to the already damaged/insecure/paranoia minds of those who are reading this, or just creating more unnecessary pondering. Let's just leave it as it is. Am sure everyone has their own story to tell.
I just wish that more positive light comes to shine for those who have been suffering in the pouring rain.
***
Cabana Manhunt Competition Finals is tomorrow.
Am judging.
Isn’t it interesting being able to ogle and judge men shamelessly while they go all out to impress you?
Am so lucky.
I hope they live up to my expectations. Though I'm trying not to have one too high.
But already having a headache deciding what to wear.
If only Alysher didn’t pressure me with “Please dress to kill” and having to hold up to people’s expectations with the title that I will be carrying then.
Damn ~
If only I were Jem and my entire wardrobe would be right there beside me every second of the day. No worries if I dressed up for the wrong occasion.
See what TV does to your brain?